How do I know if I am a bitch? I try to be a nice person but people often jokingly call me a bitch. My family calls me a bitch sometimes too.

Today I told my mother that I didn't want to go with them to Malmö, later my sister came up and said "Are you not coming?" And pulled my Blanket. I slept, but she woke me up. I said "No go away.” She went on and on telling me why and that my grandma always said ‘where was my majoje?’ And that she loves me more than her and my little sister. But I said "No it's my choice." She went on. And I have a big amount of anger issues, so I got angry very quickly. She said I was bad at keeping promises and that i was the only one who broke them, but i said we can, not we are going to. I got angry and yelled, "GO FUCK YOURSELF! IT'S MY CHOICE!" I said before turning over and trying to go back to sleep. She got angry and said, "Say that again. Come on!" Several times until I said it again. She started talking the most cruel, and unexpected words i have ever heard coming out of her mouth rather than ‘whore, idiot, mentally ill, that ive got problems, crybaby, weak, bitch, anger issued, adopted, monkey, cow and pig.’ Because she said ‘I hope you die. You know what? You should kill yourself. No one will love you, you will never have children, never have a man that loves you or get a job, you will be a stripper. When you get older, you won't find a job or anything. You will be so poor that you will find a club and become a stripper. Then you will come to me for help with money and I will not help you because I am PRAYING for all this to happen to you. I will tell everyone that you said go fuck yourself to your own sister. I'll also tell your friend - Name - (Unnamed since it is private information that i am not aloud to say) that you said that to me. Let's see if she or anyone wants to be your friend after this." She said as she walked to the door and left. I started crying directly because i am also very sensitive with my emotions, that's why i get happy, scared, sad and angry very easily. Did I actually deserve to hear her saying that? Should I kill myself? Why did she get so mad over that? It's not like she has never said that to me before. Is everything she said about me in the past and now true? Am I really just a worthless piece of shit that has no bright future and will become a stripper? Does she hate me so much that she has enough of the will to say it? Did I deserve it that much so that she has the right to say it? What if she told everyone in the school? The people I know, my friends, her friends, older people? Was I the bitch?

Hi! I and my sister have always been constantly fighting and getting over it directly. But that changed today. I have decided never to talk to her again, and if I need to, it won't be done nicely. Since because of today, I cried for hours. Let me tell you guys what happend and you guys decide if I am really the bitch or if she is!

She said that she will tell everyone I know that I said go fuck yourself to my own sister and see if anyone would want to hang out with me. But isn't what she said worse? I mean I mabye did deserve it or not, but what she said was worse than saying go fuck yourself to your sister, isn't it? If she did tell someone of everyone, I would have a harder time in school. I don't really have a hard time at school other than concentrating and hanging out with people. I have been used many times, where someone even said, “I never liked you anyways, I just used you.” Straight to my face. I also have a hard time identifying my own personality since I have changed it multiple times, thinking that people would like me more if I were what they wanted. First, I tried to be all girly, kind, and use this baby voice when I was in 1th- 2th grade. I was told that nobody likes the baby voice and that I should act and talk normally. I tried to stop since I used it that much and learnt how to stop. Then I tried to be cool towards the boys, but they also just used me. But once that I felt that it was really me and how I acted I got called anoying, I have used alot other personalities but now I have done that so much I don't know who I am. I also have trust issues now because of how many times I have been used, I really can't identify if someone's a real friend or not. I really don't know who my real friend is or not. I also have this friend that I have helped a lot. I always comforted her when she was sad and cried, but she has been really mad at me recently for talking to her too much. Am I really that annoying? I never realised that. My best friend we used to talk and hang out a lot before after our other best friend betrayed us. But after I went back to my original class we hadn't really talked much. When him and our ex bestie were best friends, he never hung out with the boys. But when he and me said we didn't want to be her friend anymore because of everything she had said about him to me behind his back and about me to him behind my back. Also when all three of us were best friends he played football because he had taken a liking to it while I would talk to her. Afterwards we left her, I told him “you don't have to hang out with me 24/7 go play football if ya want.” I don't regret saying that since it was his liking. And if he liked it, I shouldn't stop him. After a few weeks of hanging out he went back to football, we didn't talk for a whole month, but now we talk like once a week or so. I am happy that he is happy. But I am kinda sad, because I have a hard time trying to be with anyone, everyone has their own friends to talk to so whenever I try talking to some of them, I usually get ignored. Last year I got sad and thought about my old best friend. My old best friend before I moved, I wished for her to come back, so we can be besties again. She was the only one that never betrayed me. Last year, she joined my school and class. We are friends but not best friends. She is the person my sister said she would tell. Thank you to whoever fulfilled my wish, I won't say it's God, because what if it wasn't God? But whatever back to if I am the bitch or if she is. I mean if she told anyone, should I tell them about what she said to me? But if she did say anything I will just keep quiet, why should I be like her and say thing to people? She doesn't deserve it. She is already getting bullied by a boy in her class, shouldn't make it worse than it is. She has friends to hang out with, I am proud of what she has achieved. She's strong, not like me, i will never be as strong as her. Mabye she is just trying to make me stronger by hurting me untill words don't hurt. Right now, I have learned a way to stop crying while I am in the middle of crying. I don't know how to explain how I do it. But I have.

Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support. I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized. he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that. he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened. he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence. i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction. after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly. things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it. we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe … our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far? this has upset me so much its hard to even function.

Am I the bitch for never wanting to talk to my sister again because of something she said while talking back to me?

If i stop talking to her, maybe then she will learn a lesson for being 100x meaner than I have been. All my life, she has been more and more meaner. Maybe I did deserve it. Mabye I am the one that has been meaner to her? I don't know. But I don't wanna talk to her.. so am I the bitch? Please tell me, I need to know, so I can change how I act and stuff.